Reading is an amazing hobby. It educates, entertains and can whisk you away to places as far reaching as your imagination can travel... just open the pages and away you go (no batteries required). Purging books is like purging friends somehow...
Goal #5;
Edit book collection. The primary goal is to release the commitment of reading so many of the books that have made their way (with honorable intentions) into the house - a realistic time limit of one year to read it should be helpful. Secondary goal is to make every book have a real home in the correct bookshelf.
Background: Like so many others, I love a good book. And I have a hard time letting go of a good book too. It's too easy to happily pick up a few books at the thrift store that look interesting (or that the kids might like). The problem lies in the sheer QUANTITY of books that I am still trying to find time to read! A massive bookshelf is not enough. My kids each have a good sized bookshelf... but all their books don't fit either. It's hard to find what you want, and worse, it's a heavy burden with so much yet to be read (exciting, but still a burden when the time just isn't available).
Challenge: Set realistic expectations for what can/should be read in the next year. Go through the ones that have been read and decide if they are worth reading again... if they are, can they be found at the library? Also see if any of the books in the kid's rooms are not enjoyed or outgrown (we do this regularly, interests change often). Then sort which may be useful to the school library, and the rest can go to the charitable thrift store... put the boxes in the trunk of the car to leave immediately! Let them go to be experienced by the next eager reader!
___________________________________
Verdict: Some success, it was a challenge to actually convince myself that there wasn't enough time in a year to read them all... brutal choices had to be made for this goal!
Process: One bookshelf at a time. Every book was pulled off the shelf to be categorized, inspected for damage and sorted. This gave me the wonderful bonus of putting the "keeper" books in logical order as I put them back!
1.26.2012
1.20.2012
Living the dream
How would real-life be if this house was ideal?
How much would have to go before it's truly great in here?
I had a test run of that idea when we had our place listed for sale last summer. All extraneous things were removed to my sister's garage to make the house "show-home ready". The good news is the extra stuff (aka "clutter" to a potential buyer) took up less than half her single car space.... maybe 6ft cubed if that. It was a wonderful way to live in my husband's eyes.
Yes, daily cleaning was quick, rewarding and easy.
BUT certain, inevitably necessary things were missing. The biggest example, bulky seasonal items were removed (coats quilts, boots, etc.) it opened the closets right up (very nice) but in "real -life" we need these things.
By going through the process of decluttering piece by piece I hope to get to that peaceful living space that we had when the house was listed, without sacrificing real life for all seasons.
How? I am really evaluating the value each item adds to our daily life and weighing that against the cost of physical space it occupies.
So far so good.... I've lost count of the number of bags and boxes that have left since I started worrying about clutter.... still a long way to go though... and I'm up for it!
How much would have to go before it's truly great in here?
I had a test run of that idea when we had our place listed for sale last summer. All extraneous things were removed to my sister's garage to make the house "show-home ready". The good news is the extra stuff (aka "clutter" to a potential buyer) took up less than half her single car space.... maybe 6ft cubed if that. It was a wonderful way to live in my husband's eyes.
Yes, daily cleaning was quick, rewarding and easy.
BUT certain, inevitably necessary things were missing. The biggest example, bulky seasonal items were removed (coats quilts, boots, etc.) it opened the closets right up (very nice) but in "real -life" we need these things.
By going through the process of decluttering piece by piece I hope to get to that peaceful living space that we had when the house was listed, without sacrificing real life for all seasons.
How? I am really evaluating the value each item adds to our daily life and weighing that against the cost of physical space it occupies.
So far so good.... I've lost count of the number of bags and boxes that have left since I started worrying about clutter.... still a long way to go though... and I'm up for it!
1.19.2012
Goal #4 Office Supplies
A natural transition from craft supplies is stationery, this goal I have tackled before, but somehow the pens, clips and everything else office-supply-like seems to multiply on their own. Especially after digging out the craft items.
Goal #4
Reduce Office Supplies to What I Use, Need & Love
Background: How many mediocre pens does a family of 4 need? I admit I have a bit of a stationery addiction. I love pens, markers, pencil crayons, tape, glue, paper, clips and bins.... they are just begging to CREATE something. I get positively giddy in the big-box office supply places... and there lies the problem. I'm always happy to find a different pen or drawing stick.... and even if they are sub-standard, they stick around languishing in drawers or bins.
Challenge: Take all these supplies from every corner of the house and edit, edit, edit to a reasonable and practical amount of supplies. Take the excess to the school for their use. Remove the duds to the bin.
_______________________________________________
Process: All in one pile, each item was tested (pens, markers, scissors, glue, stapler, etc...), then the useful items sorted by category. Each category was then judged strictly.... Is it being used? Is it a favourite? How many of this item is really needed?
Verdict: small bag to trash (half-used notebooks, dead pens, old markers, dried out glue sticks...). And a decent sized box taken to the school: crayons, hole punches, primary scissors, fancy paper, stickers, rulers, pencil boxes, pencil sharpeners, blank notebooks, etc. The entire sort/purge took 1.5 hours while watching a favourite chick flick for the 100th time -- it was almost fun! And the best part is NOW I know what there actually is in the house in the way of supplies (and tht they all work) and where to go when I need them! A very liberating feeling.
Goal #4
Reduce Office Supplies to What I Use, Need & Love
Background: How many mediocre pens does a family of 4 need? I admit I have a bit of a stationery addiction. I love pens, markers, pencil crayons, tape, glue, paper, clips and bins.... they are just begging to CREATE something. I get positively giddy in the big-box office supply places... and there lies the problem. I'm always happy to find a different pen or drawing stick.... and even if they are sub-standard, they stick around languishing in drawers or bins.
Challenge: Take all these supplies from every corner of the house and edit, edit, edit to a reasonable and practical amount of supplies. Take the excess to the school for their use. Remove the duds to the bin.
_______________________________________________
Process: All in one pile, each item was tested (pens, markers, scissors, glue, stapler, etc...), then the useful items sorted by category. Each category was then judged strictly.... Is it being used? Is it a favourite? How many of this item is really needed?
Verdict: small bag to trash (half-used notebooks, dead pens, old markers, dried out glue sticks...). And a decent sized box taken to the school: crayons, hole punches, primary scissors, fancy paper, stickers, rulers, pencil boxes, pencil sharpeners, blank notebooks, etc. The entire sort/purge took 1.5 hours while watching a favourite chick flick for the 100th time -- it was almost fun! And the best part is NOW I know what there actually is in the house in the way of supplies (and tht they all work) and where to go when I need them! A very liberating feeling.
1.13.2012
More or Less
More is just... "more"... not "better", not "new & improved"
More money spent
More space needed
More resources used
More responsibility
More trips to the store &
More trips to the landfill
For now, the planet may appreciate it if we say "enough" instead of "more" for a while....
More money spent
More space needed
More resources used
More responsibility
More trips to the store &
More trips to the landfill
For now, the planet may appreciate it if we say "enough" instead of "more" for a while....
1.12.2012
Goal #3 Craft Clutter
The hardest part of clutter is when you come across something you REALLY wanted to complete, but didn't. There is guilt over the money spent, regret over not having accomplished it, and embarrassment over having forgotten about it for so long.
In my life, it is especially painful finding a craft that I intended on doing with my young boys -- they are not so young any more. Plaster casts of tiny feet, finger paint and stringing beads are no longer cute rainy day activities. That boat has sailed and I am sad that I missed some opportunities.
Goal #3;
Find NEW homes for the craft supplies that we have all outgrown (yes there are lots of well-intentioned projects for mom that never got completed too)
Background: Even after many purges of this type of thing, I still have some unopened or gently explored craft supplies intended for the primary years! From fuzzy craft bits to a small mountain of crayola crayons, stickers, play-dough, these items are tucked away all over the house.
Challenge: Gather ALL the supplies to one place, make decisions, donate to the local Boys & Girls Club programs... after all my youngest boy did do preschool there and they are wonderful people that do wonderful things for the local kids. Or find other appropriate homes that the supplies can go to in less than a week -- no lingering regrets!
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Verdict: This was one heck of a goal, I had no idea what I was getting into! This one took 6 hours to complete (not including transit to the B&G club -- that's happening tomorrow)
Process: I had to open every drawer, every cupboard and every closet to search all of it out (and I'm pretty sure I have missed some). I piled it all in the family room and sorted it first into keep/purge piles then into age-appropriate bags. Whenever possible I just set the entire bin to be donated (why keep a container when they could use it?). Some decisions were very easy.... for example colourful pompoms and popsicle sticks are not needed here any more.... and the robot flannels I intended to make PJs out of will find more appreciation with my sewing neighbour that has a 2 year old. Other things were more challenging.... my niece still enjoys play-dough quite a bit, it would be nice to keep it around for when she is here...
In my life, it is especially painful finding a craft that I intended on doing with my young boys -- they are not so young any more. Plaster casts of tiny feet, finger paint and stringing beads are no longer cute rainy day activities. That boat has sailed and I am sad that I missed some opportunities.
Goal #3;
Find NEW homes for the craft supplies that we have all outgrown (yes there are lots of well-intentioned projects for mom that never got completed too)
Background: Even after many purges of this type of thing, I still have some unopened or gently explored craft supplies intended for the primary years! From fuzzy craft bits to a small mountain of crayola crayons, stickers, play-dough, these items are tucked away all over the house.
Challenge: Gather ALL the supplies to one place, make decisions, donate to the local Boys & Girls Club programs... after all my youngest boy did do preschool there and they are wonderful people that do wonderful things for the local kids. Or find other appropriate homes that the supplies can go to in less than a week -- no lingering regrets!
----------------------------------------------
Verdict: This was one heck of a goal, I had no idea what I was getting into! This one took 6 hours to complete (not including transit to the B&G club -- that's happening tomorrow)
Process: I had to open every drawer, every cupboard and every closet to search all of it out (and I'm pretty sure I have missed some). I piled it all in the family room and sorted it first into keep/purge piles then into age-appropriate bags. Whenever possible I just set the entire bin to be donated (why keep a container when they could use it?). Some decisions were very easy.... for example colourful pompoms and popsicle sticks are not needed here any more.... and the robot flannels I intended to make PJs out of will find more appreciation with my sewing neighbour that has a 2 year old. Other things were more challenging.... my niece still enjoys play-dough quite a bit, it would be nice to keep it around for when she is here...
1.08.2012
Daily Grind
With a picture of what my ideal space SHOULD be, this daily process of selecting things to donate away is getting easier.
(Time willing) Every item I come across is getting interrogated:
Even though I just took 2 decent sized boxes away last week (Post-Christmas cull), There is now another box almost full today. The dining cabinet that houses the table linens got a once-over today. I found a variety of things to part with: candle holders that aren't my cup of tea anymore, and some tea cups too, a stoneware platter that I never really liked (a gift), a stainless steel martini shaker that leaks to the point of me never wanting to touch it, and a couple picture frames (what were they even doing there?). All that hiding and crowding the linens and platters that are actually used!
The cupboard works better now. And that is the whole point of this exercise -- make the space work for the life I live now.
(Time willing) Every item I come across is getting interrogated:
"What have you done for me lately?"
"Why should I keep you around to take up space and resources?"
"Is there something similar that works better or is preferred?"
"Will I suffer in any way if you are not in my life anymore?!"
Even though I just took 2 decent sized boxes away last week (Post-Christmas cull), There is now another box almost full today. The dining cabinet that houses the table linens got a once-over today. I found a variety of things to part with: candle holders that aren't my cup of tea anymore, and some tea cups too, a stoneware platter that I never really liked (a gift), a stainless steel martini shaker that leaks to the point of me never wanting to touch it, and a couple picture frames (what were they even doing there?). All that hiding and crowding the linens and platters that are actually used!
The cupboard works better now. And that is the whole point of this exercise -- make the space work for the life I live now.
1.05.2012
Goal #2: Take the boxes/paper accumulated over Christmas to recycling centre
Background: We hosted Christmas AND had out of town guests over the holidays, the result was a mountain of paper and cardboard. We have a recycling pick-up program, but the pick up day isn't for two weeks!
Challenge: Gather it all into the covered deck area (on a calm-weathered day), sort the various recyclables into appointed bags and deal with the non-recyclable left overs too. Then drive it all to the recycling centre and responsibly put it in the correct bins without going crazy (the place is a muddy garbage infested zoo of impatient people at the best of times).
-------------------------------
Verdict: Amazing! By setting it up as a challenge instead of a dreaded chore, I was able to get the tools ready ahead of time, gloves, bags ..... patience... and after 30 minutes of sorting I had everything sorted and bagged and in the back of the truck! I decided to see if they would take the Christmas tree too -- I wasn't going to have it languishing in the backyard until Spring like usual!
Process: As stated above, by being organized with the tools and clear of purpose it came together smoothly. I picked a windy but not too rainy day to do it, so there were moments when I was chasing down festive ribbons, but it got done in one afternoon, and now it's off my porch and out of my head! They took the tree for a nominal fee so that was a bonus. Amazing!
Background: We hosted Christmas AND had out of town guests over the holidays, the result was a mountain of paper and cardboard. We have a recycling pick-up program, but the pick up day isn't for two weeks!
Challenge: Gather it all into the covered deck area (on a calm-weathered day), sort the various recyclables into appointed bags and deal with the non-recyclable left overs too. Then drive it all to the recycling centre and responsibly put it in the correct bins without going crazy (the place is a muddy garbage infested zoo of impatient people at the best of times).
-------------------------------
Verdict: Amazing! By setting it up as a challenge instead of a dreaded chore, I was able to get the tools ready ahead of time, gloves, bags ..... patience... and after 30 minutes of sorting I had everything sorted and bagged and in the back of the truck! I decided to see if they would take the Christmas tree too -- I wasn't going to have it languishing in the backyard until Spring like usual!
Process: As stated above, by being organized with the tools and clear of purpose it came together smoothly. I picked a windy but not too rainy day to do it, so there were moments when I was chasing down festive ribbons, but it got done in one afternoon, and now it's off my porch and out of my head! They took the tree for a nominal fee so that was a bonus. Amazing!
12.29.2011
Last Goal for 2011
Introducing the 2012 strategy for my decluttering mission.... I am going to set a goal per week and journal the experience and results.
Since there is only a couple days left for this year.... I have to make it simple.
Goal #1
Find a home for my new pressure cooker that has easy access for frequent use.
Background- I got a pressure cooker for a pre-Christmas present. A 5 quart pot of manageable size and easy operation for fast, tasty vegetables (the 5 times I have used it so far I have been delighted with the results)! BUT at present there is NO SPACE in my cupboards to house it.... it has been living on my stovetop, and though that is convenient, it's not practical.
Challenge- Decide which cupboard location would be best (thinking of the goal) clearing space out until it fits.... that may mean re-prioritizing what lives in the cupboard and/or finding new homes for those things. (The trickle down effect is that ALL my cupboards are quite full, so no matter what, 5 quarts of volume must be evicted from SOMEWHERE to make room).
______________________________
Verdict- SUCCESS!
This challenge took 20 minutes from planning to completion. HOORAY!
Process- After deciding which cupboards would be acceptable for storing the pot, I narrowed it down to the most flexible cupboard close to the stove, and already housing the much loved slow cooker and griddle. Then I had to assess what could be moved from that space. The tetra packs for lunches could go elsewhere..... I decided the best place to edit was my cookbooks place. There are a few well-referenced publications, but 90% of the time these days I go to my favourite cooking websites before searching my collection of cookbooks. In short, they have served their purpose and are no longer needed -- thank you very much -- a big stack are off to a new home, and the tetra packs take their place.
Phew, the results are good. Everything is away and outdated materials that I have been ignoring are removed. A true de-cluttering success.
Since there is only a couple days left for this year.... I have to make it simple.
Goal #1
Find a home for my new pressure cooker that has easy access for frequent use.
Background- I got a pressure cooker for a pre-Christmas present. A 5 quart pot of manageable size and easy operation for fast, tasty vegetables (the 5 times I have used it so far I have been delighted with the results)! BUT at present there is NO SPACE in my cupboards to house it.... it has been living on my stovetop, and though that is convenient, it's not practical.
Challenge- Decide which cupboard location would be best (thinking of the goal) clearing space out until it fits.... that may mean re-prioritizing what lives in the cupboard and/or finding new homes for those things. (The trickle down effect is that ALL my cupboards are quite full, so no matter what, 5 quarts of volume must be evicted from SOMEWHERE to make room).
______________________________
Verdict- SUCCESS!
This challenge took 20 minutes from planning to completion. HOORAY!
Process- After deciding which cupboards would be acceptable for storing the pot, I narrowed it down to the most flexible cupboard close to the stove, and already housing the much loved slow cooker and griddle. Then I had to assess what could be moved from that space. The tetra packs for lunches could go elsewhere..... I decided the best place to edit was my cookbooks place. There are a few well-referenced publications, but 90% of the time these days I go to my favourite cooking websites before searching my collection of cookbooks. In short, they have served their purpose and are no longer needed -- thank you very much -- a big stack are off to a new home, and the tetra packs take their place.
Phew, the results are good. Everything is away and outdated materials that I have been ignoring are removed. A true de-cluttering success.
12.21.2011
Needs vs Wants & Gifts
When someone asks "What do you want for Christmas?" it is such a challenge for the budding minimalist!
"I have everything I need, really I do. I would be happy for your company". Is my response.
"But I asked you what you WANT not what you NEED?"
THERE IS THE CHALLENGE
There are LOTS of things a fledgling minimalist may WANT, but in the back of our minds is the assurance that that want will actually be a burden later as most of the "stuff" inevitably becomes. So we have to disappoint and frustrate our family and friends with requests for empty stockings and boxes.
WHERE IS THE BALANCE?
Giving thoughtfully with minimalist experience gifts is relatively easy compared to asking for the same consideration from those that don't share the same ideals about "stuff".... it's lost in translation somehow. At least that is my experience.
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Meanwhile there are things leaving my home by the box full and every pound less makes me feel lighter...
"I have everything I need, really I do. I would be happy for your company". Is my response.
"But I asked you what you WANT not what you NEED?"
THERE IS THE CHALLENGE
There are LOTS of things a fledgling minimalist may WANT, but in the back of our minds is the assurance that that want will actually be a burden later as most of the "stuff" inevitably becomes. So we have to disappoint and frustrate our family and friends with requests for empty stockings and boxes.
WHERE IS THE BALANCE?
Giving thoughtfully with minimalist experience gifts is relatively easy compared to asking for the same consideration from those that don't share the same ideals about "stuff".... it's lost in translation somehow. At least that is my experience.
------------------------------------
Meanwhile there are things leaving my home by the box full and every pound less makes me feel lighter...
12.19.2011
Naughty and Nice
If you are like me, the worst is over for the season. As of yesterday, I'd made my list, checked it twice and shopped, created and really carefully decided what would be nice for gifts this season. ALL OF THEM ARE ACCOUNTED FOR! Did I manage to avoid toxic portable power sources (batteries).... YES!
And I managed to sell a few items that still had lots of fun left in them that my boys had outgrown (they share the proceeds).
I hope you are close to finishing your list too.... and that you have stayed true to your budget, goals and heart for each gift....
And I managed to sell a few items that still had lots of fun left in them that my boys had outgrown (they share the proceeds).
I hope you are close to finishing your list too.... and that you have stayed true to your budget, goals and heart for each gift....
12.17.2011
Bad, Bad, Bad
I'm drywalling my laundry room right now.
Nothing makes you realize how much crap you have quite like clearing EVERYTHING out of a room. Just one room's worth of stuff spread around, and it has made the rest of the home almost unbearable!
It's a prime opportunity to cull the excess, and yet, it is so much easier to swear and kick at it while tripping over it.... or better yet ignore it completely until it can be shoved back into the nook it came from.
I WILL RESIST TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT!!!!
My office looks like an episode of some reality hoarding show and the family room looks no better.
What have I done?
Now ON TOP of the holiday chores and mayhem, I have added mudding, taping, sanding and "deal with it" to the list.
DEEP BREATHS.....
The tools are at hand: Bags for trash, boxes for donate.
(I have taken photo evidence of what's going on, but they won't be posted until the "after" shots are ready.)
Nothing makes you realize how much crap you have quite like clearing EVERYTHING out of a room. Just one room's worth of stuff spread around, and it has made the rest of the home almost unbearable!
It's a prime opportunity to cull the excess, and yet, it is so much easier to swear and kick at it while tripping over it.... or better yet ignore it completely until it can be shoved back into the nook it came from.
I WILL RESIST TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT!!!!
My office looks like an episode of some reality hoarding show and the family room looks no better.
What have I done?
Now ON TOP of the holiday chores and mayhem, I have added mudding, taping, sanding and "deal with it" to the list.
DEEP BREATHS.....
The tools are at hand: Bags for trash, boxes for donate.
(I have taken photo evidence of what's going on, but they won't be posted until the "after" shots are ready.)
12.02.2011
Gifts of Experience
Gifts of Experience can be a personal gift of time from yourself, or a gift card for an activity the recipient enjoys.
Presently I am creating some vouchers for my extended family for activities that I know they enjoy...
Possible vouchers include:
Other experience gifts may be:
The trick is finding the balance between how well the activity matches them, and how much time they will need to commit to it. It doesn't have to be expensive to be fun and meaningful!
Presently I am creating some vouchers for my extended family for activities that I know they enjoy...
Possible vouchers include:
- yoga time with friends,
- home cooked family meals,
- cooking lessons,
- spa days but the "spa" is your home (or their's)
- movie night of their choice
- gardening afternoons
- trips to the park/museum/mall/bike rides together... whatever activity they would like to do with you more often
- story-time / lego-time / game-time / craft-time / wiggle-time with youngsters
Other experience gifts may be:
- Resturant/Coffee certificate
- Movie/theatre Tickets
- Museum membership
- Swimming lessons/passes
- Sports memberships
- Art Classes
- Continuing education course in a class they are interested in
- Salon Gift Certificates
- Spa Gift Certificates
- Wine Appreciation Class
- Kayaking Lesson.... etc
The trick is finding the balance between how well the activity matches them, and how much time they will need to commit to it. It doesn't have to be expensive to be fun and meaningful!
11.25.2011
Think About the Power Source
The season has begun... I have been sneaking packages into the house and hiding them... sure the "big day" will be fun, but what about afterwards? Where will these things "live" in my house?
Those are questions I am much more mindful of this year.
And one other BIG question that I encourage everyone to PLEASE think about... How many evil toxins are going to be created by the batteries needed this year? Last year I went through boxes of AA, AAA and 9V to keep our goodies humming and blinking.
Batteries are a big pet peeve for me, and they put the friggin' things in EVERYTHING these days from action figures to razors to toothbrushes. I've gotten to the point of wanting to scream in the stores "JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT BATTERIES IN IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD!" Do you think everyone takes these tiny button cells out of the free happy-toy and disposes of them in a responsible manner? ya. right.
Batteries are convenient, portable and powerful.... but they are toxic, environmentally very destructive to manufacture and difficult to dispose of... so why are we putting them in every gizmo they will fit into? Why are they cramming them into things that aren't even enhanced by them?
I am calling for a "No Batteries Christmas" this year.
Is it even possible? So far so good. I haven't bought or asked for anything that needs them (but it's been very difficult in some cases). My usual stocking stuffers are mini flashlights and blinking bouncy balls. NOT THIS YEAR.
Are you with me?
Those are questions I am much more mindful of this year.
And one other BIG question that I encourage everyone to PLEASE think about... How many evil toxins are going to be created by the batteries needed this year? Last year I went through boxes of AA, AAA and 9V to keep our goodies humming and blinking.
Batteries are a big pet peeve for me, and they put the friggin' things in EVERYTHING these days from action figures to razors to toothbrushes. I've gotten to the point of wanting to scream in the stores "JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT BATTERIES IN IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD!" Do you think everyone takes these tiny button cells out of the free happy-toy and disposes of them in a responsible manner? ya. right.
Batteries are convenient, portable and powerful.... but they are toxic, environmentally very destructive to manufacture and difficult to dispose of... so why are we putting them in every gizmo they will fit into? Why are they cramming them into things that aren't even enhanced by them?
I am calling for a "No Batteries Christmas" this year.
Is it even possible? So far so good. I haven't bought or asked for anything that needs them (but it's been very difficult in some cases). My usual stocking stuffers are mini flashlights and blinking bouncy balls. NOT THIS YEAR.
Are you with me?
11.10.2011
Why I need to stop watching "HOARDERS"
First I need to assume you know which shows I am talking about.... there is "HOARDERS" on A&E and "HOARDING: Buried Alive" on TLC. They are similar in that they about extreme cases of Hoarding (not just too much collecting or a laundry problem) they cover desperate situations each episode and some of the homes are tragic disasters, with animal problems and structural hazards.
I have to stop watching these shows.
Not only do I feel so sorry for the emotional trauma these people are dealing with, I feel fear for them and I come close to a physical illness as the TV people pan through the most intimate and disgusting corners of these people's dwellings. It's BAD and it's a kind of ugly voyeurism into a damaged person's mind.
I am not being too harsh here.
Every single one of the show's participant's had some unresolved traumatic experienced that spiralled out of control on them. And the ones that are actually helped are the ones that respond to the counselling and fix the problems in their heads, not the forced clean-up/gut-out on their homes.
But I'm not going to stop watching just because I think the show is too intrusive or sensationalist -- after all, I think if there are people being helped by this exposure then it should keep going by all means! I have to stop watching because it is influencing my own view of my own stuff, and I don't think in a way that is productive.
Call it a personality flaw, but I am happy with "better" as one of my rules for life.
If whatever I am working on works better or looks better than when I started, then it is a success for me. Also if someone can do something significantly better than me, I'd rather they do it and I'll encourage them to do it too (not too competitive am I?). My task/goal/project doesn't have to be "perfect" or even "the best", it just has to be better than it was to make me feel very happy indeed. And I get a lot out of the small, incremental victories.
Can you see where I'm going with this?
..... my idea of a terrific space is vastly different from these hoarder's spaces. But right now my home looks way "better" than theirs, so it is kind of deflating my forward decluttering momentum because it's not nearly as bad as all that!!!! I need to get better than where I am now, not just feel that I am doing better than them.... otherwise I will fall backwards for sure.
I have to remind myself that I am decluttering for space, peace and balance in my life, not just to have a less clutter or avoid hoarding.
10.29.2011
Surroundings
Unclutterer.com had a post that really got me thinking!
What astonishes me most is how the relationship with surroundings can change (sometimes dramatically) in a relatively short amount of time. I used to feel extreme anxiety in a sparse room... I couldn’t relax, I felt exposed and vulnerable. I felt sorry for people that didn't surround themselves with books and knicknacks and other pretty personal items. Really.... sorry for minimalists! It's laughable. This interaction with my surroundings lasted into my 30s.
Pretty much from the moment I left home for college I was forging ahead on my own, from scratch with nothing to define me except the boxes that I moved into my first apartment and my class list (in a strange town) life was thrust upon me. And it got more full, slowly at first... acquisition of furniture... pursuing a career... then it really got busy!... marriage... home ownership... 2 babies...
I needed my stuff, my stuff needed me - a cozy relationship.
Now at this present point in my life (approaching 40 with lightening speed) the opposite is true, clutter feels heavy like it will squash me and sucks out my freedom with every dust-catching surface, it's emotionally draining and "loud" all the time.
What changed? I have a theory that the more full and stable my life becomes, the less tangible affirmations (aka stuff) I need to define myself to feel confident in my own skin.
Perhaps that is part of what hoarding is about. I am amazed how many of the hoarders (on the TV show) started off as tidy people... only to suffer some tragedy that changes their needs. These people need to feel secure and search for the security with things, it's tragic how messed up (literally) the stuff made everything!
I was a packrat. One personal tragedy away from much worse habits... it's a reality that I'm okay with really. Through love, trust and self-realizations I have come out the other side with a greater respect for my things. Not so much of it means what it used to, and I honestly think that is a very very good thing!
Bravo minimalists for not needing the stuff to be happy. But please don't underestimate the genuine comfort a bit of clutter can provide for anyone that's feeling a bit lost.
The connection between surroundings and perspective
I agree that surroundings influence a person’s sense of comfort and well being on a really visceral level and it's not the same for everyone, in fact it isn't even always the same for ONE person!
Pretty much from the moment I left home for college I was forging ahead on my own, from scratch with nothing to define me except the boxes that I moved into my first apartment and my class list (in a strange town) life was thrust upon me. And it got more full, slowly at first... acquisition of furniture... pursuing a career... then it really got busy!... marriage... home ownership... 2 babies...
I needed my stuff, my stuff needed me - a cozy relationship.
Now at this present point in my life (approaching 40 with lightening speed) the opposite is true, clutter feels heavy like it will squash me and sucks out my freedom with every dust-catching surface, it's emotionally draining and "loud" all the time.
What changed? I have a theory that the more full and stable my life becomes, the less tangible affirmations (aka stuff) I need to define myself to feel confident in my own skin.
Perhaps that is part of what hoarding is about. I am amazed how many of the hoarders (on the TV show) started off as tidy people... only to suffer some tragedy that changes their needs. These people need to feel secure and search for the security with things, it's tragic how messed up (literally) the stuff made everything!
I was a packrat. One personal tragedy away from much worse habits... it's a reality that I'm okay with really. Through love, trust and self-realizations I have come out the other side with a greater respect for my things. Not so much of it means what it used to, and I honestly think that is a very very good thing!
Bravo minimalists for not needing the stuff to be happy. But please don't underestimate the genuine comfort a bit of clutter can provide for anyone that's feeling a bit lost.
10.28.2011
Freedom of Choice -- too much of a good thing?
Yes freedom of choice is AWESOME.
But everything in moderation, right?
There is a wall of yogurt at my grocery store. A whole aisle of cereal and the cheese choices are so plentiful that my store has a wall near the yogurt and 2 more big display areas in the deli. (Did anyone else laugh at the "what's dis?" part of Borat with the cheese? Just me? okay.)
We are so spoiled here it's quite ludicrous.
Other than groceries I'm not a fan of shopping. I know LOTS of folks really love it... I'm just not one of those folks. Its all the choices that do me in.
When I enter a BIG MALL I start off with a tingle of excitement at all the shiny pretty things, then I quickly fade to anxiety over too much choice and too many things that are desirable/novel/expensive, and then a deep funk comes to me that is either tied to buyers remorse, or not being able to find what I entered the mall to buy (despite millions of items being there). The whole process takes about 20 minutes, and if I am determined to get that thing I came for, the funk just gets more and more tedious until I can't stand it anymore and I have to leave. I wish it wasn't like that. I really do.
I have found ways around the anguish of new-stuff-browsing-frustration-overload.
My favourite trick is going to the local thrift shops. Variety is amazing when you get a great thrift shop. Every style, every vintage (and every quality level) is hanging out there. Let's say your in the market for a red, 100% cotton, cable-knit sweater... it takes about 35 seconds to go to the sweater section, look for red, check the size and then the materials label. Nothing there? Great, now you know and your day can continue practically uninterrupted. In the mall it may take 2 hours just to go through those steps (department, colour, size, materials)... and then either come up empty handed or find the only one in the right size that is pleasing is over $100. At the thrift store I know where I stand in my hunt very quickly, I won't be out more than $7 if I do find one, and I already know how it will look after a wash (bonus!). Some people may say that takes the fun out of shopping, but lets be honest here, if the thrift store doesn't have it, it was probably a "want" more than a "need" anyways, so live without it for another day.
(My favourite "score" at a thrift shop... I was in the market for ankle boots, I found PRADA bootlets with a cool chrome heel for $8 -- so comfy, almost too pretty and they have lasted for years).
A trick for staying sane shopping for NEW stuff:
Lets say a toy is needed for a birthday party or some similar scenario (like buying grooming products for example), head straight to the back of the store and check out the clearance section. Don't even look at anything else because you are on a mission. You may find a product you didn't know existed that could be your new favourite. Nine times out of ten something really cool is back there at a deeply discounted price that completely fulfills the buying criteria. If nothing suitable is there, then wander to the proper department and look only at the SALE tags... still no luck? Now you can face the flood of abundance of choice by looking at the full-price items.
Choice is great, I appreciate choices every day. And I choose to look at alternatives to the mall. I choose to re-use and make-do before buying new. My favourite choice is my choice to skip the mall entirely if I can.... my time is more precious, and my money too hard to earn to spend it on glamour and regret.
What are your freedom of choice overload point? Is it eating out? Exercise? Hobbies? Travel Destinations? Gadgets?
But everything in moderation, right?
There is a wall of yogurt at my grocery store. A whole aisle of cereal and the cheese choices are so plentiful that my store has a wall near the yogurt and 2 more big display areas in the deli. (Did anyone else laugh at the "what's dis?" part of Borat with the cheese? Just me? okay.)
We are so spoiled here it's quite ludicrous.
Other than groceries I'm not a fan of shopping. I know LOTS of folks really love it... I'm just not one of those folks. Its all the choices that do me in.
When I enter a BIG MALL I start off with a tingle of excitement at all the shiny pretty things, then I quickly fade to anxiety over too much choice and too many things that are desirable/novel/expensive, and then a deep funk comes to me that is either tied to buyers remorse, or not being able to find what I entered the mall to buy (despite millions of items being there). The whole process takes about 20 minutes, and if I am determined to get that thing I came for, the funk just gets more and more tedious until I can't stand it anymore and I have to leave. I wish it wasn't like that. I really do.
I have found ways around the anguish of new-stuff-browsing-frustration-overload.
My favourite trick is going to the local thrift shops. Variety is amazing when you get a great thrift shop. Every style, every vintage (and every quality level) is hanging out there. Let's say your in the market for a red, 100% cotton, cable-knit sweater... it takes about 35 seconds to go to the sweater section, look for red, check the size and then the materials label. Nothing there? Great, now you know and your day can continue practically uninterrupted. In the mall it may take 2 hours just to go through those steps (department, colour, size, materials)... and then either come up empty handed or find the only one in the right size that is pleasing is over $100. At the thrift store I know where I stand in my hunt very quickly, I won't be out more than $7 if I do find one, and I already know how it will look after a wash (bonus!). Some people may say that takes the fun out of shopping, but lets be honest here, if the thrift store doesn't have it, it was probably a "want" more than a "need" anyways, so live without it for another day.
(My favourite "score" at a thrift shop... I was in the market for ankle boots, I found PRADA bootlets with a cool chrome heel for $8 -- so comfy, almost too pretty and they have lasted for years).
A trick for staying sane shopping for NEW stuff:
Lets say a toy is needed for a birthday party or some similar scenario (like buying grooming products for example), head straight to the back of the store and check out the clearance section. Don't even look at anything else because you are on a mission. You may find a product you didn't know existed that could be your new favourite. Nine times out of ten something really cool is back there at a deeply discounted price that completely fulfills the buying criteria. If nothing suitable is there, then wander to the proper department and look only at the SALE tags... still no luck? Now you can face the flood of abundance of choice by looking at the full-price items.
Choice is great, I appreciate choices every day. And I choose to look at alternatives to the mall. I choose to re-use and make-do before buying new. My favourite choice is my choice to skip the mall entirely if I can.... my time is more precious, and my money too hard to earn to spend it on glamour and regret.
What are your freedom of choice overload point? Is it eating out? Exercise? Hobbies? Travel Destinations? Gadgets?
10.26.2011
Making Time - Making Priorities
When my youngest son broke his right femur 5 years ago, I learned a valuable lesson.
Priorities can change in a heartbeat.
I went from planning my day around emails from clients & meal planning for the family to 24 hours-a-day taking care of Cami in the kid's wing of the hospital... literally in a heartbeat.
That was just a broken leg ("just" being a relative term versus let's say a brain injury or amputation or blindness or something). That snap of the bone changed my world for more than 8 weeks. Suddenly clients were forgotten, personal concerns evaporated, clutter-smutter! Time was irrelevant compared to the tasks and trials that needed attention.
My husband and I took shifts at the hospital around his work and Steve's last few days of school for the year (after all my older boy was still just 9 at the time). Sleeping on a cot was fine, no personal space (because nurses were coming in and checking every hour) was fine too. Living out of a cold, concrete room and walking down the hall to get refreshments was completely reasonable.... because my little boy -- my BABY -- was in traction, in a hospital bed, in a prone position! Going home when each shift was done was a strain on me. The priority for home was: make sure Steve was coping with the weird schedule, shower, eat something healthy, feed the cat, sleep. Clients were completely neglected, housework was left, I ate what was home because the idea of grocery shopping was crazy. In other words my life was turned upside down. In fact, our neighbours, who didn't know what was going on thought maybe my husband and I separated because of the disjointed attendance.
Then 6 weeks in a Spica cast (which included the trunk of his body and full leg) so my little boy was like a mannequin -- frozen in a semi-sitting position -- I had to carry him to the toilet and hold his stiff body there, he slept propped up on pillows, he lost muscle mass, and a whole summer of freedom. Rehab was quick, but painful when the cast came off just before school started.
We did what needed to be done. We adjusted, we all found a new "normal" and we carried on.
The lasting effect of this experience for me was the knowledge that sh!t happens then life goes on. All priorities can be tossed aside, and time can be found for anything if it's important/urgent enough.
Current priorities (alphabetically):
- Family - Finances - Friendships - Health - Home - Personal Growth -
the question is what order are these in? I know which ones SHOULD come first, but "urgent" matters (not necessarily important matter) intervene often enough to bump them all over the list.
It's nice to take a conscious minute to slow down and think about my priorities, really think about them, instead of just constantly reacting to what life throws my way.
Priorities can change in a heartbeat.
I went from planning my day around emails from clients & meal planning for the family to 24 hours-a-day taking care of Cami in the kid's wing of the hospital... literally in a heartbeat.
That was just a broken leg ("just" being a relative term versus let's say a brain injury or amputation or blindness or something). That snap of the bone changed my world for more than 8 weeks. Suddenly clients were forgotten, personal concerns evaporated, clutter-smutter! Time was irrelevant compared to the tasks and trials that needed attention.
My husband and I took shifts at the hospital around his work and Steve's last few days of school for the year (after all my older boy was still just 9 at the time). Sleeping on a cot was fine, no personal space (because nurses were coming in and checking every hour) was fine too. Living out of a cold, concrete room and walking down the hall to get refreshments was completely reasonable.... because my little boy -- my BABY -- was in traction, in a hospital bed, in a prone position! Going home when each shift was done was a strain on me. The priority for home was: make sure Steve was coping with the weird schedule, shower, eat something healthy, feed the cat, sleep. Clients were completely neglected, housework was left, I ate what was home because the idea of grocery shopping was crazy. In other words my life was turned upside down. In fact, our neighbours, who didn't know what was going on thought maybe my husband and I separated because of the disjointed attendance.
Then 6 weeks in a Spica cast (which included the trunk of his body and full leg) so my little boy was like a mannequin -- frozen in a semi-sitting position -- I had to carry him to the toilet and hold his stiff body there, he slept propped up on pillows, he lost muscle mass, and a whole summer of freedom. Rehab was quick, but painful when the cast came off just before school started.
We did what needed to be done. We adjusted, we all found a new "normal" and we carried on.
The lasting effect of this experience for me was the knowledge that sh!t happens then life goes on. All priorities can be tossed aside, and time can be found for anything if it's important/urgent enough.
Current priorities (alphabetically):
- Family - Finances - Friendships - Health - Home - Personal Growth -
the question is what order are these in? I know which ones SHOULD come first, but "urgent" matters (not necessarily important matter) intervene often enough to bump them all over the list.
It's nice to take a conscious minute to slow down and think about my priorities, really think about them, instead of just constantly reacting to what life throws my way.
10.22.2011
Inventory Time - food edition
Inventory time on the pantry/freezer situation!
Food is a passion of mine. Cooking - Eating - Shopping. And one way I "indulge" is by stocking up... it can be a little on the crazy side (depending on how vulnerable I feel) at times. The good news is that I now recognize that I don't have to save up for a catastrophe -- at least not an apocalyptic one -- and just because it's on sale doesn't mean I need to buy 24 of it either. There are positives that I can't deny, for example, one things is certain... I can ALWAYS come up with a decent meal with savoury seasonings and full, satisfying portions for the whole family from my pantry at any time.
Today was the day I dug everything from my freezer and took inventory. This exercise is very revealing... for instance I found out that I really like buying frozen fish fillets. I do, in fact, like eating fish, but rarely chose to make it. VOILA an excess of Basa and Sole in the freezer (about 7 pounds). And blueberries.... LOTS of blueberries.... 6 bags (I now know without a shadow of a doubt what kind of smoothies we will be having for breakfast for a LONG time). And I'm not sure how I managed to forget to use the cranberries and then buy more -- 5 times!
Other insights... 8 family servings of Edamame... 6 deep dish pie crusts... 3 big ziplock bags of chicken stock... 4 containers of homemade pesto... 1 turkey... 3 bags of corn...
I could go on, but I won't.
Apparently I need to do this sort of inventory more often.
To help prevent further duplicates, I have sorted my uprightfreezer into "zones": Meat/Fish, Veggies, Fruit, meal helpers (pizza, eggrolls, etc), desserts (pie/icecream), juices. The kitchen freezer is reserved for opened bags of fruit/veg and bread. Now I can open the door and see immediately that the fruit shelf is FULL. No more fruit to buy please -- resist the aisle at the store -- resist! And I can also see that there are only 3 cans of orange juice... that's okay, I can wait until there are none before buying more.
Sigh...I want to make a big batch of lasagna to freeze, but today I realized that is impossible until there is room in my freezer. Motivation to avoid buying anything that must be frozen for a little while. (It won't be long, boys eat a LOT of food these days).
Feeling motivated by the freezer discoveries I decided to do the canned goods pantry. My list had fallen out of service -- time to update it! A whole other set of revelations in there... and not where I thought. I discovered I don't have any baked beans, not one can (weird considering I usually buy case lots of them). I only have 1 can of kidney beans (so a batch of chili would have to wait for a shopping trip) and now that my husband doesn't like salt he doesn't take the chunky soups for lunch anymore (but apparently I'm still buying them -- I have 12 cans).
Taking inventory is very good.
In one stroke I feel comfortable with the food I have, know what I need (and what I don't) and can confidently open the door to make dinner.... oh and I can CLOSE the doors too! That's a major thing for a borderline food hoarder.
Food is a passion of mine. Cooking - Eating - Shopping. And one way I "indulge" is by stocking up... it can be a little on the crazy side (depending on how vulnerable I feel) at times. The good news is that I now recognize that I don't have to save up for a catastrophe -- at least not an apocalyptic one -- and just because it's on sale doesn't mean I need to buy 24 of it either. There are positives that I can't deny, for example, one things is certain... I can ALWAYS come up with a decent meal with savoury seasonings and full, satisfying portions for the whole family from my pantry at any time.
Today was the day I dug everything from my freezer and took inventory. This exercise is very revealing... for instance I found out that I really like buying frozen fish fillets. I do, in fact, like eating fish, but rarely chose to make it. VOILA an excess of Basa and Sole in the freezer (about 7 pounds). And blueberries.... LOTS of blueberries.... 6 bags (I now know without a shadow of a doubt what kind of smoothies we will be having for breakfast for a LONG time). And I'm not sure how I managed to forget to use the cranberries and then buy more -- 5 times!
Other insights... 8 family servings of Edamame... 6 deep dish pie crusts... 3 big ziplock bags of chicken stock... 4 containers of homemade pesto... 1 turkey... 3 bags of corn...
I could go on, but I won't.
Apparently I need to do this sort of inventory more often.
To help prevent further duplicates, I have sorted my uprightfreezer into "zones": Meat/Fish, Veggies, Fruit, meal helpers (pizza, eggrolls, etc), desserts (pie/icecream), juices. The kitchen freezer is reserved for opened bags of fruit/veg and bread. Now I can open the door and see immediately that the fruit shelf is FULL. No more fruit to buy please -- resist the aisle at the store -- resist! And I can also see that there are only 3 cans of orange juice... that's okay, I can wait until there are none before buying more.
Sigh...I want to make a big batch of lasagna to freeze, but today I realized that is impossible until there is room in my freezer. Motivation to avoid buying anything that must be frozen for a little while. (It won't be long, boys eat a LOT of food these days).
Feeling motivated by the freezer discoveries I decided to do the canned goods pantry. My list had fallen out of service -- time to update it! A whole other set of revelations in there... and not where I thought. I discovered I don't have any baked beans, not one can (weird considering I usually buy case lots of them). I only have 1 can of kidney beans (so a batch of chili would have to wait for a shopping trip) and now that my husband doesn't like salt he doesn't take the chunky soups for lunch anymore (but apparently I'm still buying them -- I have 12 cans).
Taking inventory is very good.
In one stroke I feel comfortable with the food I have, know what I need (and what I don't) and can confidently open the door to make dinner.... oh and I can CLOSE the doors too! That's a major thing for a borderline food hoarder.
10.21.2011
More = Christmas
How can I simplify the season of excess?
Chrsitmas compared to all the other seasons is defined by MORE.
More decorations, more lights, more food, more gifts, more social events, more treats, more eggnog & rum, more baking, more shopping, more packaging..... more... more.... more....
The problem with my desire to simplify is that I like the lights, glitter and cheer... I like the trees and the happy, charged atmosphere.
In recent years I have enforced a limit on my Christmas paraphernalia...a real, physical limit. ALL the Christmas stuff must fit in my Grandfather's Steamer chest at the end of the season... no exceptions. So if I really want another ornament, I have to be prepared to let something of the same size go, the chest is full to capacity, that is a reality. It also keeps my storage solutions simple and out of sight for the rest of the year. A necessity.
The space in my home within my own 4 walls is under control for Christmas, GREAT!
But.... no matter how much I may want it, it's not all about ME or what I want...
Not just an excuse to decorate, Christmas is a time for generosity, thankfulness and giving... however I don't appreciate the chaos and spending that goes along with it. I feel taken for a ride on the Consumerism Express. The adults understand for the most part and I would be tempted to have a "no presents" Christmas with a loving and well thought out excuse to the family... however...
I have 2 sons with many years of experience getting major Christmas hauls.
I have 3 nieces of serious Christmas-magic age.
I have 2 nephews of toy crazy age too
and they have a full family of Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Parents that may not be on the same frugal-minimalist agenda that I am. That's the trap isn't it?!
I love them VERY much.
LOVE = GIFTS at Christmas...
...or at least that sure is how it looks to the impressionable munchkins.
I will have to do more research on how to give them a memorable and loving impression without adding to the clutter-junk-disposable toy cycle. I refuse to have my affections be just another toy on the pile this year.
Experience gifts are a good option. But I feel guilty that to use the gifts (lets say a movie pass) some of the nieces and nephews have to take a ferry and drive (taking parent time and money) hmm...I'm thinking.... part of the gift could be myself picking them up from the ferry and taking the to the experience, couldn't it!? I'll have to think about that some more, it may not be practical after all.
Now that the juices are flowing here I'm pretty sure I can think up clutter-free gifts for most of my list. I don't want to spoil it but here are some ideas (If you think you may be on my list, please don't read farther).
How about:
...museum membership, satellite radio subscription, a ride on a helicopter, one-meal-per-month-for-a-year-at-my-house vouchers, bouquet-a-month for an out of town relative, Movie passes, subscription, swimming lessons, art lessons, pottery class (fun with friends!) big batch of treats (freezable so they don't have to feel like a glutton), yoga-night once a week at a friend's, garden plant...
The problem is still there though (2 problems really) How can I simplify this season of excess? How can I still say I love somebody at Christmas without giving them something to unwrap?
Chrsitmas compared to all the other seasons is defined by MORE.
More decorations, more lights, more food, more gifts, more social events, more treats, more eggnog & rum, more baking, more shopping, more packaging..... more... more.... more....
The problem with my desire to simplify is that I like the lights, glitter and cheer... I like the trees and the happy, charged atmosphere.
In recent years I have enforced a limit on my Christmas paraphernalia...a real, physical limit. ALL the Christmas stuff must fit in my Grandfather's Steamer chest at the end of the season... no exceptions. So if I really want another ornament, I have to be prepared to let something of the same size go, the chest is full to capacity, that is a reality. It also keeps my storage solutions simple and out of sight for the rest of the year. A necessity.
The space in my home within my own 4 walls is under control for Christmas, GREAT!
But.... no matter how much I may want it, it's not all about ME or what I want...
Not just an excuse to decorate, Christmas is a time for generosity, thankfulness and giving... however I don't appreciate the chaos and spending that goes along with it. I feel taken for a ride on the Consumerism Express. The adults understand for the most part and I would be tempted to have a "no presents" Christmas with a loving and well thought out excuse to the family... however...
I have 2 sons with many years of experience getting major Christmas hauls.
I have 3 nieces of serious Christmas-magic age.
I have 2 nephews of toy crazy age too
and they have a full family of Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Parents that may not be on the same frugal-minimalist agenda that I am. That's the trap isn't it?!
I love them VERY much.
LOVE = GIFTS at Christmas...
...or at least that sure is how it looks to the impressionable munchkins.
I will have to do more research on how to give them a memorable and loving impression without adding to the clutter-junk-disposable toy cycle. I refuse to have my affections be just another toy on the pile this year.
Experience gifts are a good option. But I feel guilty that to use the gifts (lets say a movie pass) some of the nieces and nephews have to take a ferry and drive (taking parent time and money) hmm...I'm thinking.... part of the gift could be myself picking them up from the ferry and taking the to the experience, couldn't it!? I'll have to think about that some more, it may not be practical after all.
Now that the juices are flowing here I'm pretty sure I can think up clutter-free gifts for most of my list. I don't want to spoil it but here are some ideas (If you think you may be on my list, please don't read farther).
How about:
...museum membership, satellite radio subscription, a ride on a helicopter, one-meal-per-month-for-a-year-at-my-house vouchers, bouquet-a-month for an out of town relative, Movie passes, subscription, swimming lessons, art lessons, pottery class (fun with friends!) big batch of treats (freezable so they don't have to feel like a glutton), yoga-night once a week at a friend's, garden plant...
The problem is still there though (2 problems really) How can I simplify this season of excess? How can I still say I love somebody at Christmas without giving them something to unwrap?
10.17.2011
Christmas ( + Other Clutter Occasions)
Don't hate me for mentioning it in October... I like to get the shopping done early.... CHRISTMAS IS COMING!
Before kids it was an easy occasion to look forward to. I'd head to mom or dad's (or the in-laws) for all day eating and present opening. Some traditional tunes in the background (Boney-M is my personal fave) and then, fat and happy, I'd roll home with my haul.
NOW... 2 boys later... I dread the big day, actually the WHOLE MONTH. It's non stop stuff morning noon and night. (The great disadvantage to living so close to so many family members is the endless people to buy for and the endless toys that come from all of them.)
Honestly I have gift-fatigue in a BIG way. I really don't know how to tell them I hate it. I can't deprive the relatives from seeing the delighted faces of my boys when they get their gifts, and I can't deprive my boys from it either -- can I?
Maybe in about 3 years (oldest will be 18, youngest 14) we can disapear to somewhere warm and far away for the holidays... is that cheating? Bring everyone back an edible souvenir? Vanilla Beans, coffee, chocolate or if we are feeling like Hawaii is the place to hide, sweet sweet macadamia nuts!
In the past I have experimented with gift exchanging. One year I insisted we only get handmade things. Another year I asked for "experience" gifts, and another year I said no adult presents, family gifts only. Well it all failed miserably because only SOME people respected my requests. Then the day would come and some people went overboard, some people got left out (because they were playing along) and some people just did whatever the heck they wanted to.... hey, it's their Christmas too, who am I to make the rules???
I guess I should just shut up and ride the peer-pressure treadmill for the last few years before the kids are grown... but I don't want to. I really don't.
So do YOU have a plan for averting the gift-avalanche this upcoming season?
Or for that matter, any gift occasion? Birthday, Easter (how did that get gifty anyways?), etc...?
Before kids it was an easy occasion to look forward to. I'd head to mom or dad's (or the in-laws) for all day eating and present opening. Some traditional tunes in the background (Boney-M is my personal fave) and then, fat and happy, I'd roll home with my haul.
NOW... 2 boys later... I dread the big day, actually the WHOLE MONTH. It's non stop stuff morning noon and night. (The great disadvantage to living so close to so many family members is the endless people to buy for and the endless toys that come from all of them.)
Honestly I have gift-fatigue in a BIG way. I really don't know how to tell them I hate it. I can't deprive the relatives from seeing the delighted faces of my boys when they get their gifts, and I can't deprive my boys from it either -- can I?
Maybe in about 3 years (oldest will be 18, youngest 14) we can disapear to somewhere warm and far away for the holidays... is that cheating? Bring everyone back an edible souvenir? Vanilla Beans, coffee, chocolate or if we are feeling like Hawaii is the place to hide, sweet sweet macadamia nuts!
In the past I have experimented with gift exchanging. One year I insisted we only get handmade things. Another year I asked for "experience" gifts, and another year I said no adult presents, family gifts only. Well it all failed miserably because only SOME people respected my requests. Then the day would come and some people went overboard, some people got left out (because they were playing along) and some people just did whatever the heck they wanted to.... hey, it's their Christmas too, who am I to make the rules???
I guess I should just shut up and ride the peer-pressure treadmill for the last few years before the kids are grown... but I don't want to. I really don't.
So do YOU have a plan for averting the gift-avalanche this upcoming season?
Or for that matter, any gift occasion? Birthday, Easter (how did that get gifty anyways?), etc...?
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